


Don't you dare.

by MagicMiss



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, Because of Reasons, LIke hard ones, Lies, Mikasa is maybe a bit ooc, Non-Canonical Character Death, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, One Sided Love, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Ending, So much death, Some Swearing Too, also i am not a native english speaker so it must have some mistakes, and everybody is dead now, don't hesitate to point it out (gently), don't read if you're not caughed up with the manga, eren called her a slave and said he hated her, eren is a little shit who need somes punches, everyone is tired and depressed, i love her so much she doesn't deserves this, kind of what if : everything got apeshit, life be like that sometimes, no beta we die like meh, she's getting emotional idk, she's sad, spoil after chapter 112, the jaw titan is also depressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 17:24:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17207711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicMiss/pseuds/MagicMiss
Summary: Eren and his brother are fighting Reiner and his friends in Shiganshina, where everything started, but what about the humans ? These poor souls without any powers, fighting anyways for their liberty and country ?Jean is only a man, and  he would have fought until the end if there was really a reason for all this slaughter. Now, he's just tired of theses deaths and bullshits.Mikasa can't get over Eren's word and it's getting her crazy. What's the point of living if her reason of living hate her and is now the enemy who want to kill them ?This is the final confrontation and even Ackerman's powers can't keep it up with these god-like monster.





	Don't you dare.

Jean couldn’t believe his own stupidity, how could he have thought it was going to be okay ? They were fighting against Eren and his fucking brother, two of the most powerful Titan shifter ! He shook his head, trying to push away this thoughts, but it was impossible to do so. 

Connie was beside him, crying his lasts tears as he was trying to hold back his own guts. He get shot by one of this Yaergist, Eren’s ‘followers’ or slaves like Jean liked to call them, and it was pretty bad. No,  _ awfully _ bad. Connie wasn’t going to make it alive this time. After all these years spent together, all the fights they won, all their defeats and victories, was he going to die like that ? 

 

“Fuckin’ hell !” Jean screamed, tears in his eyes. “It’s gonna be alright, Connie ! If you press enough on the wound, you’ll stop bleeding and- and…” And it will doesn’t matter, since it’s too late. All lies. 

 

Connie cought blood, and seemed to smile.

 

“And we will share a drink, watching our grandchildren plays in the garden ?” Jean felt his tears running down his cheeks, he felt the weight of the world against his shoulder, he felt shame for having leading them to their death, he felt hate toward Eren and the Ape Titan for causing all this clusterfuck. 

 

“Yeah buddy, of course !” He tried to dry his tears but his bloody hands only left a carmine smudge on his face and eyes. “You and that marleyan girl, I heard she likes you a lot !”

 

“Ah ? I think I like her too… She’s cute… You will be beside Mikasa, right ?” It was so soft, so weak that Jean barely managed to understand it all. 

 

“Yeah.” Even if he didn’t understood the last bit, it didn’t mattered. He was still going to be there, to hold his palish and already cold hand, reassuring him, until he finally… Until...

 

“Jean….”

 

“Yes ?” His vision was blurry because of his tears, everything hurted. His cheeks were painful as he was trying so hard to smile, to comfort his friend but his sadness was stronger.

 

“I think it’s.. raining…”

 

What was he talking about ? The sun was high in the sky, looking at them fighting for their lives without a care in the world like a tired father would look at his children fighting again. 

 

“Yeah, surely.” He said anyways. He wasn’t going to deny any dying men, specially if the dying man was one of his closest friend. 

 

For an instant, neither of them talked, only watching each other right in the eyes. They could hear the wind, each other breathes and soft cries and the screams also. The screams of anger, hate or pain. The screams of soldiers dying, stomped to death by falling building, or simply killed by  _ humans _ , their own kind. Eren’s screams also, of course, who with all his might and anger was fighting Reiner, who come back with friends ; Ymir’s titan and the one who walk on his fourth. Levi was busy with the Ape Titan and Mikasa and Armin were fighting the rest. Meaning, the Yaergist and Reiner’s friends. It was such a clusterfuck. Everything has gone apeshit, everyone was fighting against each other and Jean had difficulties to accept it. He indeed had difficulties to accept the death of friends once again, when the titans were all dead. Marco, Ymir, Sasha, Connie… He wanted to add Berthold but the reminder of their betray was still marked like a red-hot iron on his mind. 

 

Connie gaze went off, looking to the blue empty sky, as if he was seeing something invisible. Jean’s heart seemed to miss a beat.

 

“Connie…”

 

Jean knew. His tears were not stopping, they even increased. His nose and eyes were red, he let his smile die, like if it has been convincing, and hold his head between his shaking hands. Why ? Why do they want to fight, to kill ? Why Connie died ? Why did Eren gone rogue like this ? Why did he abandoned them and betrayed him in such a coward way ? Jean mind was as blurry as his vision, his chest was hurting, his whole body was shaking in pain, grief, incomprehension and anger. 

 

“Fuck you, Eren.” He whispered as he closed his friend’s eyes and crossed his hand on his bloody chest. “Fuck you, Monkey Titan. Fuck you all.” 

 

The man stayed still, immobile and hold back his scream. What was the use of fighting anymore, if they kept going it wouldn’t rest anyone to protect. But he heard another explosion, probably the thunder spear, so he stood up. Then, looking one last time at Connie’s body and he flew away, the heart heavy of frustration, culpability and anger. 

 

~~~ 

 

Mikasa was fighting her best, it wasn’t against stupid and mindless creature but against  _ humans _ or shifter, still, she was doing good. She was the strongest after all, an Ackerman, a bio-product of science. A slave. Eren‘s words were still haunting her without respite. His cold and lifeless gaze, he contrary of the Eren she always known, were marked in his mind, like a red-hot iron. She felt anger, sadness and disappointment against him. They were supposed to be finally free ! They killed every titans on this island ! Why wasn’t it enough for him ? Why wasn’t she enough for him ? She could have lived by his side for eternity, she could have fought for him without never complaining, for his sake… For her love for him. But had the love of a slave any meaning ? She was at loss, hating her anger for him, hating that he was somewhat right. Hating that she was indeed a slave. 

A blue feeling was invading her being, and since crying while fighting would only kill her, she put away this thought, and redirected all her melancholy on what she knows best,  _ killing _ . 

 

Fluttering around like a deadly wasp, she was killing the enemy, but without giving a look behind, to not watch this men and women fall on their knees, hands on their throat cut open. 

 

The Jaw Titan, she heard his name when Eren’s half brother saw them transforms, was in front of her, at barely two hundreds meters. This one was fast, really fast, but she was behind him and he was busy fighting a bunch of soldiers. Clear path, no one in sight. The perfect occasion to take down an enemy.

 

She saw her chance and took it. She put back her baldes and armed her thunderspears and accelerated, going full blast toward the Jaw without hesitations. 

 

But, at barely two meters of her target’s nape, Eren screamed. He was fighting away from here but his scream was so powerful that they all heard it. The Jaw turned over, to see what was going on but only found Mikasa, trying to kill him. 

 

Time seemed to stop, neither of them could hear anything, as if they were in a bubble. They stopped breathing, waiting for something to happen. One of them was going to die. 

 

Mikasa knew it was her. 

 

The Jaw, forestalling everything, even the mighty Ackerman’s power, stretched out his neck and opened his large mouth, still full of bloody bit of human flesh, showing his sharp teeths. 

 

“Is it really the end ?” She thought. “Is it how I die ? It couldn’t-” 

 

Eren’s words resonated once again in her mind and death didn’t bothered her anymore. She lived her life, she loved, fought and ultimately, she lost. Porco saw her abandoning and even though he was surprised and kind of sad about it, he started to close his mouth over her. 

 

But, both didn’t saw Jean, screaming Mikasa’s name as he was flying toward them. This boy already lost everyone, he wasn’t going to let the woman he liked die ! He took her in his arms and got away the fastest he could. But he was no god, no shifter or no Ackerman. Only a man, who suffered enough, and wanted to save the woman he liked. 

 

His left leg got bit, and because of the speed, it tear up apart from his body. His scream of concern became a long cry of astonishing pain. Mikasa saw his face twist because of the suffering, adding the inhuman sound he made, she could only feel horrified. 

They both fall like lifeless doll on the ground, blood spilling everywhere, bruises blooming on their bodies. The Jaw took more than one instant to understand the new situation, it has been getting more complex. 

 

“Jean !!” Mikasa screamed, panicked when she saw him contort of pain, trying to hold his missing limb. She rushed to him and took the man in his arm, forcing him to look at her. “You shouldn’t have done that !! Look at you now ! Your leg…” 

 

She felt tears rising, and he saw this. 

 

“Well, I am... only-” His voice was breaking. “...Jean... You… You can kill… these bastards…”

 

“Why... are you talking like you’re... dying…?”

 

“Well, I can see my leg over the-” He was going to reply with a witty comeback but he got interrupted by the not-amused-by-your-shit’s of Mikasa so he just closed his mouth and tried to smile. 

 

The Jaw, finally realizing why and how he didn’t vored that girl with the black scarf, turned toward them and tried to jump but Mikasa reacted faster and hide herself and Jean inside one of the house by going through a window. The man grunted, everything was hurting and he was pretty sure he got some chunk of glass stuck on his body now. He opened his eyes, ready to complain but then he saw Mikasa’s face, just over his, and would have blushed if he wasn’t losing already too much blood. She was still beautiful… She always had been… He wished he could say it to her, or that he have done it a long time ago. Maybe they could have been an happy couple ? Maybe she could have loved him ? He scoffed. “No, she’s into Eren. Not me…” He thought, resentful.

 

The Jaw was peeking from outside, hesitating to come inside this tiny building, where he could get killed easily. Mikasa, holding Jean close to her, was looking right into his eyes, almost daring him to come in so she could kill him. She was terrifying, the face closed and cold, and if a look could kill, Porco would already be buried and forgotten. He tried to move toward them but Mikasa got to her blades immediately, stopping the Jaw. He wasn’t crazy enough to tempt it, also, they were only two lambda soldiers, no shifters, no gods, only two  _ nobodies _ . He backed off and run toward something more important. 

 

Jean was still looking at her, seeing her scary face as one of the most beautiful thing he ever seen in his life. “Short life”, he thought, a bit bitter.  

 

“He’s gone.” She said, trying to be calm but he could hear her voice breaking a little. Was this sadness for him ? Nah. “Now, I have to get you out of there and to find you a medic.”

 

She looked at him, right in his eyes.  _ Don’t say it, don’t say it ! _

 

“You’re... beautiful…” 

 

There it is, he said it. 

 

“Wh-What ?” She was confused but kept going. “You lost a lot of blood, you’re getting delusional. I need to stop that hemorrhage before you die.”   She took one of Jean’s harness and tired apart her sleeve and then rolled them above the knee. 

 

“No…” He was getting paler and paler and barely felt when she touched him. “You are beautiful…”She tried to cut him off but he didn’t let her the time to do so. “I am not out of my mind. I am finally... speaking it.” He took her hand and put it on his chest, letting her feel his (fast) heartbeats. “Since the first day I saw you, I found you beautiful. And ever since, you only increased my dumb feeling by… just being you. You’re amazing, and strong, and talented. I could only admire you from behind but now… I’m telling you. I lov-”

 

“Stop it. Don’t say it.”

 

Her eyes were watering and it broke his heart. He didn’t wanted to make her feel sad or bad ! He knew he should have just shut up, but the lost of blood and the thought he was going to die get him to speak his mind. 

 

“I- I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have-” He mumbled, looking away, awkward. 

 

“Jean… I…” She didn’t loved him like this. She couldn’t respond to his feelings like he wanted her to do. He was a friend, a dear and close friend, but only a friend. She never think about him like a lover, a boyfriend or even like a spouse. She was too overwhelmed by everything for this anyways ! There was the training, the titans trying to eat them, Annie Reiner and Berthold’s betrayal and so much. She even never thought of this for anyone... Eren, maybe ? He meant a lot to her but seeing him as an husband was something else. She never asked herself this question to be honest, she never felt this need. “You’re telling me this only because you think you’re dying. This is the lack of blood. You can’t think right.” 

 

“Y… Yeah.” He closed his eyes. “I am sorry.”

 

“Don’t think about it, just focus on staying alive, please, Jean.”

 

He loved how she pronounced his name, as if she did liked him. 

 

“I am not bleeding as much as before… That’s a good thing…”

 

She took off her hand from his chest, and was saddened when he seemed to lose another limb because of it, and then took him into her arms, carrying him like a bride. 

 

“It’s gonna be difficult but we will make it.” She said with fake confidence, trying to reassure both of them. This was a war zone outside, they could feel the ground trembling. They could hear people crying and the shifters howl like beast, fighting each other with the power of gods. They could smell the bitter blood, the dust and the burnt powder of the gunshots. They both tried to hide their fear, but it was harder than expected, even for Mikasa. 

 

When she put a feet outside the house, a loud sound, similar to God’s thunder, resonated and ringed their ears, making her flinch. Why was she so afraid ? She fought scarier battles ! She could do it again ! She hated to feel this fear eating her mind and body, stopping her, scaring her when she had to protect a friend ! Was it Eren’s words coming back ? Was it the Ackermans’ power failing her since she wasn’t ‘linked’ to him ? Or was only the weight that Jean’s and her survival depended on her shoulder ? That she couldn’t let herself die if Jean’s life was on the balance too ? She didn’t look at him but she still could feel his gaze upon her. He was in love with her. She wasn’t. 

 

After her ears stopped ringing she flew away. The battle took place in a city, a place where it was easy to use the 3DMG. So they had this for them, at least. She flew away, staying low enough to no get saw by the enemies, but Jean’s states was getting more and more unstable ; he was practically passing out, only Mikasa’s jumps and mouvements kept him from it. 

 

“Ackerman !!” Screamed Hange, from behind a fractured chimney. The above-named joined her and sat down Jean against what was left of the construct. “Wher- His leg ? What happened !?”

 

“The Marleyans get Ymir’s titan back. The Jaw titan. Really fast.” She looked at Jean, struggling to stay awake and alive, with anguish and sadness. “He saved my life.”

 

Hange started trembling like jello, why was everything getting fucked up ? What did they did to deserve so much hatred !? She couldn’t bear the responsibilities of being the commandant ! She wasn’t Erwin… She was only herself… A lunatic with an obsession for titans. Nothing else. Everyone was getting killed… Everyone was dying or already dead. Her squad, Erwin, Moblit and...

 

“Levi… died.” She said bluntly, looking to the sky, as if she could see him. “He died taking away with him the Beast Titan. That’s why Eren screamed. But he’s still fighting Reiner. They’re both weak.”

 

Mikasa and Jean’s blood froze. Levi was dead ? How were they going to win now ? They just lost an important asset ! 

 

“Fuck everything… Why are we even fighting now…” Whispered Jean, without even trying to hold back his tears. “We fought… We killed humans for the sake of humanity ! But humanity doesn’t want us. A whole fucking continent hate us and want us worst than dead. We aren’t humanity, we’re walking piece of shit… We should just... die already.”

 

Both woman couldn’t but agrees. This was a desperate time, everything got apeshit really fast and hard. Eren was against them and the Marleyans too…

 

“No.” Still said Mikasa, eyes shining, ready to cry her life out. “We need to fight. Until the end. Life is beautiful, sure it’s also cruel and hard but she need these moments of doubt and sadness to appreciate the good one, to feel alive and to know when happiness will come.”

 

“Well we sure did waited for happiness. I am pretty sure it will never come, Mikasa…”

 

“Hange,” said Mikasa, ignoring Jean’s unwelcomed pessimist, “Is there an exit ? Do you still have gas ? I don’t.”

 

Hange hold her head in her hands, trying to think of a genius of a plan to get out of this clusterfuck alive, but she only able to see Levi’s lifeless face, eyes wide open looking toward the landscape,  hanging against a wall because of his 3DMG, unreachable. 

 

“No. In the south there is the Marleyan’s backup. East, The Jaw and Armin. West and North, Reiner and Eren. This two destroyed the district and Armin just crushed it by walking on it. We’re stuck here.”

 

They sat in silence, only hearing the shifters’ growls. No more gunshots or human’s scream. Maybe they were all dead ? Simple humans as them can’t hold a fight against god like Intelligent Titan like Eren, the Jaw, Reiner or Armin. Jean was getting more and more tired of this, of this life without any meaning, of himself and of everything in this goddamn world. He just wanted to… close his eyes… and to no waking up. So he tried. 

 

“Jean ?” Murmured in one breath Mikasa. “Wake up !” He didn’t wanted to. He was just tired. He didn’t even feel anger or pain, just a plain and dull feeling of tiredness. “Look at me Jean !” He felt her warm hands on his cheeks and smiled, but when he tried to open his eyes, the light was so strong he blinded him and made him dizzy. “That’s right, open up your eyes ! Don’t lose hope, please…”

 

“I am… just… tired… Mikasa.” He loved saying her name, it looked like she was his girlfriend, that she loved him back. 

 

“Hange ! Help me, his tourniquet is maybe off or maybe he got another wound ! I didn’t checked- I- We need to- He must live !”

 

Jean could swear her voice was breaking… Was she crying ? For him ? Nah. The lost of blood was really getting him crazy.

 

“Mikasa…” Said quietly Hange, knowing very well that he already had lost way too much blood. “I can’t do anything…”

 

“No !!” She get closer to his face, he could feel her warm breath skim his skin. “Jean, listen up. You had to fight ! You can’t die now ! You have so much to do ! Do you remember the port ? With the baths ? And you had to become a general or a minister, to help out the peoples. You said so… are you a liar ?”

 

He tried to scoff but it sounded more like a weak sight than anything. She was cute, holding into him as she cared. 

 

“I… I love you, Mikasa…” It was so weak she nearly didn’t heard it. 

 

Her heart broke, again. This was pathetic. How could he dare do this to her like this ? Saying her that he loved her while dying in her arms ? Was this love ? She didn’t wanted it then. But, a single tear runned against her cheek and fall down on his eyelid. He didn’t reacted. This was a lost cause, isn’t ? He wasn’t to make it, is it ?

 

“Don’t you dare say it now… Don’t you dare die just after telling me this, Jean.”

 

“Don’t matter… You… Don’t…”

 

“I do !” Her heart flinched as many other tears flowed. “I… I love you Jean.” 

 

He used all his strength to open his eyes, surprised and confused. 

 

“But… Ere-”

 

“No. Only a brother.” He seemed to smile so she kept going. “It’s you that I love… I didn’t said you back then because I wanted it to be special.” 

 

He was so happy and fulfilled, it was his dearest dream coming finally true. She was smiling but he could see her sadness, he could feel her tears on his skin, her beautiful eyes looking like a grey sky of winter. But something was off.

 

“No… You saying… this… only because I am dying…” 

 

“Yes.” His heart broke. “I am telling you that I love you because I needed you to know.” His heart get back together. “I do. I remember that time when you told me my hair were beautiful. You were so cute ! After this, you became so brave and smart. I liked it. You weren’t like me or the other… You actually cared for humans’ lives.” She stopped, to assure herself he was still alive. He was. “That what made me fall completely for you, Jean. Your bravery and compassion.” 

 

He slowly raised up his hands to her face, drying off one of her tear gently. But by doing so, the blood on his hand created a red smudge over her scar.

 

“ I am… so sorry, Mikasa…” He whispered, letting his hand falling slowly toward his chest.

 

“So do I…” She said with difficulties, her throat tied up. He tears continued to run down her cheek, getting her vision so blurry that Jean became a blood-red stain. 

 

“I know why... it’s raining... now…” And he breathed out for the last time, with the smile of a loved and in love man, in the arm of the woman he wanted to marry. Without ever knowing she didn’t loved him back.

 

“You… You lied to him.” Said Hange looking at his still warm body. She sounded so offended and it pissed off Mikasa. “You never loved him. You lied to a dying man.” 

 

“Life is cruel. Really cruel. He devoted his heart and moral for humanity and get nothing in return except pain, sadness and deaths.” She pushed back his hairs behind his ear. “So yes I lied to him… If it could make him leave this cruel world a little bit happy, I even would do it again.” She looked right into her only functioning eye, tears in her own eyes even though her words were harsh and cold. “He deserved it. He deserved to feel loved.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well there it is ! I wrote this because why not ? I like snk and angst tbh. At first, Mikasa was the one who was gonna die but idk I just thought.... I will kill everyone else instead because of reasons sorry (not sorry) ! Don't hesitate to leave kudos or to comment !! I love these ;33


End file.
